San Juan del Sur: My First Sunday Funday
If you’ve spent some time in Nicaragua you’ve probably heard of Sunday Funday. Advertising itself as the biggest party in Central America, Sunday Funday is basically a pool crawl where you binge drink the entire day. A must in San Juan Del Sur, the crawl takes you to three (or four, I’m not sure) pool parties and a night club by shuttle for the price of $30 and your self-control.
I really didn’t know what to expect for Sunday Funday. Working as a hostel receptionist in Granada, I’ve been going out nearly every day, so to me Sunday Funday would be just another day in Nicaragua, except maybe more expensive. After hearing horror stories from intoxicated past participants, my only goals for the day were to 1.) not lose my phone, 2.) not lose my money, and 3.) not get killed. Through intensive documentation using my iPhone notes I was able to somewhat remember the events of the day, making my first Sunday Funday experience not a complete trainwreck.
5:00 AM
As soon as I woke up, I began hydrating myself with water. The bus from Granada to San Juan del Sur is a three hour trip, so I knew I’d have plenty of time to get enough H20 in my system.
7:00 AM
Punctuality doesn’t exist in Nicaragua, so my 5:55 AM bus actually left at around 7 AM. Tickets for Sunday Funday would begin selling at 9:30 AM at Pacha Mama, and for some reason I was really paranoid they would run out, so I decided to just eat on the bus. Let me tell you, those ladies selling pollo y tortilla con queso y plantains come in clutch when you’re hungry and broke. Every stop is a new selection of food, and I wanted to carb up as much as possible.
10:00 AM
The line was longish, but not super long. Surprisingly not that many people were drinking anything besides water. For $30 dollars you get the wristband to enter the clubs and a T-shirt. The pre-party would begin at noon, so that gave me just enough time to check into my hostel, Saltwater Hostel, and walk around town before the shenanigans would commence.
12:30 PM – Pacha Mama “pre-party”
I didn’t’ really know what was going on and what the actual pre-party was, so I showed up at Pacha Mama hoping to run into people I knew. There were people playing beer pong and drinking at the bar of course, but not much else was going on. It was basically like walking into a frat party at eight o’clock where nothing of significance is happening and you’re annoyed at the stupidity because you’re sober. I thought the shuttle was leaving at noon, so I chilled there for a few minutes until I asked for the wifi password and the douchey receptionist refused to give it to me because I wasn’t a guest. Like BRUH, I paid $30 for this shit, how the hell are you not going to give me the wifi password? I was lowkey pissed, so I left and purchased my first alcoholic beverage of the day at the liquor store conveniently next door.
1:10 PM
There were tons of bars in the area, but I kind of wanted to buy my own since I knew I’d be spending a shit ton of money anyways. I ended up buying a bottle of rum (and fruit juice to be healthy) and began drinking on the beach. Contrary to popular belief, I actually hate day drinking because heat and alcohol combined is a terrible combination, but half a bottle later I was feelin’ it.
2:00 PM
Went back to my hostel to finish the rest of my rum and attempted to look less sweaty and emotionally dead inside. Finished about 90% of the rum.
2:30 PM – Pacha Mama
Returned to Pacha Mama to wait for the first club. I can’t binge drink like I could when I was nineteen, so I was already drunk from the rum. I decided to be responsible and hydrate with a Toña. I don’t even like beer, but if you go to Nicaragua it’s all you’re going to drink.
3:00 PM – Anamar
This club was actually a short walk from Pacha Mama, and as soon as you walk in they pour shots of rum down your throat from a carton. I was impressed by the atmosphere of the club, people weren’t vomiting or crying yet, and I ran into hella people I knew. Anamar is directly on the beach, but I was too drunk to figure out how to get on it. I remember ordering water because I wanted to continue being responsible (SIKE).
Somewhere between 4:00 PM and 7:00 PM – Naked Tiger
Okay, this part is a blur because I remember at some point how confused I was realizing it was only 5 o’clock. The sun was going down and I think this place was a hostel? This was definitely the peak of my night, because after this point I don’t remember much besides some dude buying me a chicken burger, resulting in me hiding from him the rest of the time there. Every time I get bored while drinking I sort of wander off so I can meddle and be a troll. I honestly don’t know what was going on, but conveniently there was a shuttle going somewhere, so I got on. I don’t think I drank anymore because I was trying to figure out how to get more food.
Maybe 8:00 PM – Third club that I forgot the name of
I think I went on the first shuttle because when we arrived at the third club is was a bit empty. Got my shots and just chilled. I met this nice couple who wanted to do Workaway and I told them that Workaway is why my 2018 is turning me into human garbage. Somehow got more beer.
8:30ish PM
Since it was dead I went outside to look for food. This club was definitely in the main center of San Juan because there were tons of restaurants. I settled on this taco place, but the taco was so small, I almost cried. I then decided to go to this convenience store nearby and get junk food and more alcohol.
9:00 PM
Someone told me that the next bar was Naked Tiger, but I was confused because we just came from Naked Tiger. But since I was intoxicated, that made so much sense to me. I didn’t know how to get there, but I remember meeting these nice Nicaraguan people at this chicken wing place who gave me a ride there for a piece of my Snickers bar. It seemed like I got dropped off in the middle of nowhere, and the guy at the security at wherever the hell we were told me that it was almost over and that the next shuttle would leave in twenty minutes. Now that I’m finally writing this, I realize that I left Naked Tiger just to get food, and then came back. But where was the fourth party?
10ish PM
I’m waiting for the shuttle, this girl shows up and waits with me. Ten minutes later the supposed shuttle passed us by and was basically like bye, you bitches gotta walk because we’re full. She said it would be easy to walk back to town, but not only five minutes into our walk some Nicaraguan dudes tried to steal our shit. I was so heated, she was freaking out and said to walk faster, but I remember picking up this big ass rock because I refuse to be a victim. We ended up catching a taxi back to Pacha Mama. I remember being so pissed off from not getting shuttled back after almost being robbed, my “Can I speak to the manager?” soccer mom alter-ego came out and I drunkenly started complaining to the people at Pacha Mama because again, what the hell am I spending my money on?
Around 11 PM to midnight – Arribas (I THINK)
I was still full of energy and in the mood to instigate, so somehow I got to club Arribas (I really don’t know, dude. I think that’s what it was called according to the internet) located on the main beach in San Juan. I don’t know if this was even a part of the crawl, or if it ended, but I was kind of just going wherever the wind and booze decided to take me. I think I was bored because according to the pictures I took, I bought more beers.
Some time between midnight and 4 AM – The beach
I don’t know why or how or when, but I ended my night on the beach to watch the waves away from people and all of the sins of the world. That moment of serenity didn’t last long, but let’s just say that I ended my night safe in my hostel alone and unharmed.
Overall
I ended the night with only a pair broken sunglasses, two blocked Facebook requests, and a shit ton of consumed calories, so I would say my Sunday Funday was a success. I wasn’t even hungover, so I actually don’t think I even did it right. Sunday Funday will always be the thing to do if you’re only passing through Nicaragua, but there’s so much more to this beach town. The morning after was so peaceful since all of the streets were empty and free of hungover tourists, I can only imagine how chill it must be during the week. My recommendation, spend at least four days in San Juan del Sur because we all know that the Monday after will be wasted in your mixed hostel dormitory hungover and full of regrets.
