So I went to Berlin, again. My first trip to Berlin I was a little 21-year-old without a clue on how to properly visit the nightclub capital of the world. My first impression upon visiting the city nearly three years ago– ugly, filled with Germans, and overrated. Now my opinion has somewhat changed. It’s ugliness is actually rather charmingly dank and I want to both agree and defend the “overrated-ness” of the city. Yet, I finally see why every traveler ever swears by this super quirky and rigid city. Here are the really annoying things about Berlin that might make you somewhat enjoy the rawness of this European capital.

Everyone is on drugs

Berlin seems like it’d be fun for a month or two for those with limited responsibilities because if you’re looking to get lit, it most certainly can happen. Certain neighborhoods felt like a scene from the Walking Dead— everyone’s induced with God knows what and incoherent. I can’t believe that I had to actively avoid crackheads almost every moment of my trip. Maybe I’m just a lame, or maybe it’s because I’m too afraid to try drugs, but binging on cocaine and ketamine every single weekend must get old at some point… right? I wish I did drugs, I would have had so much more fun with much more interesting stories to share (maybe even better writing). 

Everyone is rude

I met my first Germans in 2015 and I was terrified. Then I started meeting more, and the terror eventually died down somewhat once I realized that they’re so nice and intelligent… they just don’t ever smile. The coolest, most socially-aware Europeans I’ve met have always been Germans, so that’s why I was really surprised at how fucking M E A N everyone in this city is. Maybe this rude concept is only unique to Berliners, but I swear every person I’ve interacted with on this trip has had a stick up their ass for no goddamn reason. I’m well aware of the typical German “coldness”, but this was something more and I regret not taking my ass to Hamburg or something where I can order a currywurst without so much hostility. But if I lived in a city with 4 million humans I’d be angry all of the time too.

It’s filled with fuckboys

I wouldn’t touch anyone living in this city whatsoever, but I definitely see the appeal if you’re young, single, living the hot girl life. How hard it must be for someone so vanilla to find monogynous companionship with tall, denim-wearing blonde guys with obscure piercings begging to be pegged and walked on a leash on any given Tuesday (and they’ll probably still cheat on you). If I ever want to get played I’ll be sure to book a trip to Berlin because once just wasn’t enough. 

There is a huge mafia presence

Did you know? The Berliner Verkehrsbetriebe, otherwise known as the BVG, is the city’s public transportation system that actually operates as an underground mafia that preys upon foreigners, children, and poor people with or without valid and validated transport tickets to steal their money? I was touched physically assaulted by two subway inspectors and given a fraudulent fine, which I had to dispute at the official BVG headquarters. 

Everyone is weird

Caucasians with box braids. Face tattoos. Goths. I’m usually the weird one, but here I finally felt like the normie and I loved it. Some can be a bit try-hard, but I love celebrating uniqueness wherever I find it because everyone’s basically saying fuck you to heteronormative beauty standards and social conditioning. Well, except when it comes to gentrification and getting into nightclubs. Which brings me to… 

The club scene is pretentious

Being from Las Vegas, I’m actually impressed when a city’s nightlife is not so unnecessarily superficial, BUT I felt sooooo cool and sooooooooooooooooo enlightened after getting into one of Berlin’s most prestigious techno clubs, Watergate. It’s no Berghain or KitKat obviously (I did not have the energy ((nor did I actually care enough)) to try in Germany’s freezing January weather), but it’s always well-regarded according to The Internet. I was pre-warned that not everyone gets let in, and if you’re a group of non-edgy, non-German looking guys, you stand no chance. I actually accidentally stumbled upon this club and stood in line not knowing it was Watergate until I heard a group of club-goers behind me memorizing the playing DJ’s name and track set to rehearse to the bouncer. I immediately tensed as I watched the bouncer nearly turn away the group of Australian bros in front of me, practically forcing them to plea for their entrance– and I just knew I was the next to be interrogated. But to my surprise, the lady let me walk right in and even let me cut in front of everyone after going to the ATM to get cash since they didn’t accept card.

No photos were allowed, allegedly, but I promise you, again, as SOMEONE WHO DOES NOT LISTEN TO TECHNO, it was just like any other bougie club where everyone is trying to look cool, with the exception of the same beat playing for two hours. Maybe the drugs didn’t kick in, but Watergate served more upscale rooftop bar vibes that was actually so boring that I had to leave. I’ve been to fun techno clubs before, and even though I don’t necessarily like the music, it was still more exciting than this. Clubs like BRICKS and Matrix were more my scene, but once again I d o n o t l i s t e n t o t e c h n o. I will say, I’m turning into a bar kinda girl these days, and Berlin’s bar scene was more popping for me and the people weren’t so intimidating.

It’s expensive

When you’re blessed with living in cheap, friendly, sunny Spain, Berlin feels extremely expensive even though technically it’s comparable to low cost-of-living American state prices. Because a lot of places do not accept card, you’re forced to take money out of the ATM, and trust that those overpriced ATM fees will fuck.your.wallet.up. A cup of coffee can be nearly 3 euros depending where you go (even places that look like they’d be cheap). I didn’t eat my entire trip just so I could afford clubbing, which I didn’t even really want to do to begin with, but felt compelled because I was in Berlin.

Berlin: Not so much a love at first sight, but a beloved companion

I came to Berlin to make poor life choices, and although I was somewhat surprisingly responsible for a while in my “traveling life”, this is the perfect place to follow through with those poor choices if you’re feeling impulsive to the point you want to do heroin or something just for the sake of it. Despite my critiques, all of Berlin’s flaws grew on me in a weird, unexplainable way and I cannot wait to go back when I have money and friends because this is a difficult place to solo travel. So now, when people ask me for my opinion of Berlin, I will simply tell them, it’s a love-hate relationship type of place and will either encourage them to give it a chance by visiting themselves or secretly pray they tell me they’re absolutely appalled by the city and will never return.